Thursday, December 14, 2006

Pendulam of Life

Sometimes I wonder why threads of life are pulled through strangest of ways. The very people we like , we end up fighting very badly or vice versa. But the scars remains shattering any hopes of reconciliation.

This story is one on same lines. It’s about two close friends of mine. Ever since college started, he and she were good friends. But then troubles started. It might sound bizarre, but basis for start of all problems was she found him over caring. May this is why girls are said to gain maturity more than guys of same age. She knew he was knowingly or unknowingly giving a different meaning to their friendship. She could predict he was falling in love with her.

Her doubts became stronger when she saw that he was getting disturbed and restless when she avoided him.

But it wasn’t true, at least for the moment. For him , it was friendship. He had found in her a friend with whom he can share all his secrets without having slightest fear of leaking. For him, she was his best friend, his secret keeper. I know secret keeper is a strong word to use, but she truly was.

And when she started avoiding her, he tried to do everything possible to have his friend back, not knowing that he was reconfirming her fears. He talked to her friends asking them to talk to her, he himself tried talking to her, but it could only make her move away from him.

The almighty had started pulling the threads of their life, may be he was testing them. Whatever the case, this was the junction of life where their roads took different direction. In fact, this was mere beginning; the worst was yet to come.

On one side was her doubt about his feelings and on other side was his frustration and sadness of losing his finest friend. He wasn’t frustrated or angry with her, but he was upset with himself that he couldn’t convince his best friend and ended up losing her. Doubts vs. Frustration, the perfect fuel for any fights.

Now the fights started. They fought over silliest of matter. Sympathy waves on both sides could only fuel the matter more. Her doubts grew with time and so did his frustration. With time fights grew more severe and so did the scars it made. Heated verbal dual in presence of other classmates made each day a torture for them. And then finally, they fought one last battle. She cried, and so did he. The relation had come to an end. They hated each other at this point.

But the pendulum of life had more in store for them. When she stopped talking to him completely and avoided him, his anger started leaving him. A new emotion engulfed him, an emotion she doubted long back and was root of everything. He was falling in love with her. But he tried to stop himself, thought of dropping out of college so that he wouldn’t fall in love with her. But he knew she wasn’t the only person in his life. His parents waited him back home. He had his responsibilities towards them and he couldn’t afford quitting.
Hence he decided to propose to her. Was he expecting a positive answer ?? no, definitely not. He knew her answer, so he was never expecting. He was just hoping.

This new turn reconfirmed her doubts and made her hate him even further. She felt, why the hell this guy first fought with me for months and now proposed. She hated his mere presence now.

But immaturity still loomed large both of them. On his part he tried just too hard to convince her that his feeling is true, and on other side, she felt each message or mail from him a headache.

The reasons to reject and feel angry on her part were many. Old scars and age difference between them. But when we are looking for reasons to reject, you will find thousands.

So where was the flaw ?? She cannot be blamed as her doubts was confirmed. But was he to be blamed ? He didn’t have this feelings when she doubted ?? Fault was on both sides, He didn’t give her space, and she didn’t trust him even once since doubts filled her mind. If on his side, he had given her some breathing space, she wouldn’t have doubted him or fought with him. On her side, if she had trusted him or even asked him herself about his feeling at the beginning, it would have never happen

The real reason is not pulling your own strings. They both let they life flow rather than taking control of it. They didn’t trust each other at time when a mere two minutes talk at the beginning could have solved the problems. May be , he wouldn’t have even fell in love with her if not of these fights. No one can say now.

This was a story of my two friends. But don’t you think this is a similar story. Over the years we all have seen such incidents happening around us. Lack of proper communication and not believing your close ones has resulted in countless such stories.

So where did this story end ?? Well, she hated his mere presence. and he ?? He waited, waited for her to understand him, knowing very well deep inside him that she will never reciprocate. She considered him a psycho and he, he knew just one thing, that he loved her a lot.

This is the pendulum of life, and it is still swinging.